I'm a Big Fan

I used to think being a fan was a bad thing.

Oh, who am I kidding? Part of me still does. I don’t have much patience for glittery signs or women crying “I wanna have your baby!!” I can’t think of a good use for autographs, and I don’t take pictures. Despite being a promising screamer in my youth, I have lost my zeal for high-pitched keening. I considered being tongue-tied around the object of my affection, but my mother informs me he puts his pants on one leg at a time. (I’m meant to fear acrobats, apparently, and to be unafraid of people who don’t leap into their pants. I couldn’t tell you why; I just do as I’m told.)

Being a fan can be embarrassing, really. People think you’re just a little bit crazy – like you’re not entirely in control of yourself. This turns out to be true even if you don't paint your face or cry when your team loses. On the other hand, I know plenty of people who can’t control themselves when they’re angry, and they’re less fun to be around. If you’re going to let go, do it in joy.

Despite the protestations above, though, I qualify for the role of fan better than most. While I don’t have the fearless self-confidence required for genuine stalking, I do specialize in showing up – time after time after time – which makes a splash in its own way. I also know all the words and do all the dances; it’s true. But mostly my brand of fandom is about attention and attendance.

See, showing up is the kind of thing I take seriously. Attention is the most important gift we have to give to others. Where I come from, presence *is* love. If we vote with our dollars every time we buy something, then we also vote with our time when we choose what we will attend, to whom we will listen, and where we’ll be present.

And here’s the thing: after I’m done being defensive, I still believe that being a fan of other people is a natural state. It’s being a fan of ONLY famous people that’s worth being embarrassed about. I have a friend named Mo with a smile as big as the sun who can make anyone she admires feel like a rock star. She admires a lot of rock stars, come to think of it, but some of us normal civilians as well. She’s an unabashed fan of people she loves, and I admire that about her. You could say I’m a fan of her fandom…

Shouldn’t we root at least as hard for our friends and family as we do for the Yankees? Shouldn’t we celebrate their victories with at least as much fanfare? Being a fan is about enthusiasm. And if you don’t have that for the people in your life there’s a good chance you need new people in it.